Christmas with the Family... sorta

As much as I love my family, I have come to the conclusion that I can't spend much time with them without going nuts. It's a good thing they are visiting me here, and staying with some other family members. As a result, I can spend time in my flat instead of spending it all with them. Then again, I don't really have anything to do right now. Classes don't start for another two weeks, and I'm already getting bored.

On the plus side, it is nice to see my sister again. We get along pretty well now. She's going to university on the other side of the country though.

So, how did this semester turn out? Well, I think I've been living up to the adjective, beleaguered. Oh yes, I managed to pass all my classes. I've never doubted that. However, I didn't live up to my potential. I earned about a B average, which is decent, but I know I can do better. What will it take me to reach the top again? Well, hope springs eternal. There's a new semester in the spring. I really need to discipline myself and do a better job of balancing my time.

Online dating

Being alone and rather bored during the holidays, I decided to put up a profile on an online dating service. Geez, have I hit a new low? This isn't really the way I want to meet people. It just happens to be simple and cheaper than wasting money at the pub. I guess I have nothing to lose though except my pride, which has already been taken down a few notches this past semester.

So, what do I expect? Well, I've got pretty low expectations for online dating. I'm more interested in people I actually know. How does online schmoozing compare to real life schmoozing? In real life, groups of friends can exclude others socially. I think the internet, if contact is established, can be more one on one. On the downside, I can see internet schmoozing being even more vapid and shallow as people make judgements based on mugshots. I guess it's a tradeoff.

Merry Christmas!
R

In the Dumps

So, I got back another midterm this week. I passed it, but just barely, and only because the prof marked it our of 90 instead of 100. This was in this actuarial mathematics class, and I can just see my grade tanking as I write this. I'm not stupid, or as much of a slacker as I can seem to be. Why can't I do well like I did back in first year? Where did I go wrong?

So, that aside, let me move to something almost as pressing:

Course Selection

So, given that I haven't been able to apply for any co-op jobs, I seem to be resovled to taking classes next semester. Unfortunately, many of them seem to conflict. Plus, I seem to be at a fork in the road in my university career. Do I take the fork that leads to a double major in business and economics, or do I stay the narrower course? I can't help but think of some business-related wisdom though. Conglomerates facing lower profitability may be best advised to focus on core competencies rather than buying more profitable subsudiaries. Does that apply to me and the way I take classes? If I focused on my core curriculum, could I do better?

The decision will have an impact on my future. If I want to pursue an MA in future, I need to choose economics. That may be too out of my core area though, which is finance. If I want to earn a CFA someday, I should ignore the economics and take more accounting classes. I'm not really relishing this choice. I don't really know what I want to do, so right now it's my intent to pursue a broad an education as possible, so as to keep my options open. Unfortunately, that means that I'm going to be stuck doing my undergrad for a while yet.

Optimal Vegging

So, I did a fair bit of vegging this weekend, occasionally interrupted by productivity. I actually finished reading one of my economics textbooks, albeit the shortest one. Is there an optimal amount of vegging in one's life? Well, it depends on preferences. How much does one value leisure compared to other pursuits. I don't have a job, so I can't use it for comparison, but I could compare it with academics. Let's day that one can earn better grades by spending more time studying (probably true). Let us also say that studying yields diminishing returns such that the more one studies, the lower the marginal improvement in grades. Let's also say that there are diminishing returns in leisure as well. The more one slacks off, the less marginal benefit they get from vegging.

... You know what, trying to justify wasting time through economics is silly. In any case, it all boils down to preferences, and I seem to exhibit a strong preference for the immediate gratification that vegging brings compared to the uncertain future benefits that studying would bring. Yeah, I do value good grades, but the return on studying is quite uncertain. Studying entails a lot of risk on my part since the benefits are very much unclear. This is because I have worked hard in past, only to do badly in classes, and other other times, worked very little and down quite well. Actually, the latter is what I experienced mainly in high school.

Actually, this leads into something that I learned in another economics class dealing with economic development. There are five reasons why a society (or maybe an individual will choose not to invest/study):

1. No surplus - i.e. no extra time to study because all time is required to be spent on other things.
   
2. Not worth it/no point in investing - i.e. no benefit from higher grades.
3. Risk - uncertain gains from investing, high standard deviation from mean outcome.
   
4. Property Rights, or lack thereof
5. Financial intermediation, or lack thereof

So, the last two can be disregarded since they are not relevant to the discussion of vegging. So, I've already talked about #3. Is there benefit from higher grades? Well, let me put it this way. If you have a 3.5 CGPA, then working a bit harder could push you over 3.7 and earn you a scholarship. If you are earning a 2.8 CGPA, and you could earn a 3.0 by working harder, would you work harder? What if there are no benefits from earning a 3.0 that earning a 2.8 doesn't already have. Would you study more or spend your time having fun? Obviously, you wouldn't waste the time studying more. As it stands right now, unless I earn all A's, my CGPA probably won't change much. Of course, it could go down as well... Going back to the explanation though, the first doesn't really apply to me because I'm not required to spend all my time vegging, though extracurricular things are eating into my time.

So, it seems that I waste a lot of time because there are uncertain returns on studying. I would need to spend a lot of time studying to increase my grades a bit, and the benefit is uncertain. Moreover, I'm pretty risk averse, so I go for the certain returns of vegging rather than the uncertain returns of studying. Furthermore, where my CGPA is right now, there isn't a lot of benefit from studying more. I've fallen too far to ever qualify for the Open Scholarship again. Plus, I've already got so many credits under my belt that my previous classes grades weigh very heavily in the calculation of CGPA.

So there you have it. My level of vegging is probably in some sort of competitive equilibrium. Of course, complications could arise. Two potentially unbalancing unlikely scenarios are me finding a job (that would require actually making the effort to apply) and me getting a girlfriend.

R

The blue bird of unhappiness

Yeah, I know it's a Simpsons' reference. I thought it would capture my mood though. Admittedly, I'm not terribly upset right now, but that's because I had three double vodka and cokes, 4 beers and a cider this evening. I actually feel quite pleasant right now. I think I have a problem though. Sometimes (usually involving large groups of people) in social situations, I get really uptight, which drives me to consume copious amounts of alcohol (with the hopes of loosening up). Fortunately, I don't drink when I'm alone (a rather fruitless endeavour if you as me).

This evening, I went to the orientation leader social, which was a boat cruise. Afterwards I went with a few people to a club. What did I get out of it all? Well, I did learn that the girl I fancied is dating someone. I really only have myself to blame since I didn't ask her out when I had the chance. I guess I can cling to the idea that she's not too tied up with him yet, but I might as well admit my own failure and move on. Other than that, the boat cruise was a bit of a waste of my time. Oh yes, it was good to see my orienation mates, but I didn't really enjoy my time. I was really pensive, inward-looking and taciturn all night. There was Karaoke, and I put myself down to sing "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, but there wasn't enough time. Furthermore, despite consuming two double vodka and cokes, a beer and a cider prior to my arrival, I failed to get drunk at all. Actually, the social reminded me of my high school "formal" in that it was absolutlely meaningless. Endings have little meaning or significance to me apparently.

So, afterwards, I went to a club and made up for my lack of drunkeness at the social by spending piles of cash on cover and drinks. I guess I had a good time. I don't have anything to show for it, but by now I have worn down my hopes and expectations to practically nothing. Moreover, why should I see girls at clubs as anything more than eyecandy? (Thus really unsuitable for me in the long term) Still, it would have been nice to snog some random girl. (Those of you not familiar with the term snog should note that I didn't say shag.) The last time I snogged a girl I didn't know was when I was in Aberdeen. (Ahh! Memories of Scotland!)

So, about the only respectable thing about me right now is my apparent tolerance for alcohol, which may in fact be an object of pity.

Why do I drink?
That is an important question. I think I usually drink to reduce my anxiety in uptight social situations. Sometimes though I think I drink for dipsomanical reasons. I certainly drink sometimes to reduce or dodge the psychological pain of certain situations. Certainly rejection or in the case of tonight, disappointment, drives me to to this. Does it work? Well, despite this pensive post, I'm still upbeat. So, I guess it does help me dodge psychological challenges I really should face head-on.

R

Iraq and Justification

Sorry to come back to politics, but I think this needs to be addressed. I admit I was wrong. According to what I've heard about the last report on the Ba'athist weapons programs, there were no weapons. There were some kind of weapons programs, but they were nowhere near to being a threat as long as the sanctions regime remained in place. If the sanctions were removed, Saddam Hussein wished to reacquire WMD, but even then they were to a be deterrent against Iran. So, why the deception? To keep outsiders guessing is my guess. The possible existence of a WMD arsenal gave Iraq leverage on its own.

So where does justification come in? Well, clearly the WMD argument was not justified. Nevertheless, what's done is done, and really the argument about whether it was justified or not, legal or not, is moot. What would knowing whether it was legal or justified actually change on the ground? Nothing. In any case, one must consider whether the sanctions regime could have continued indefinately. I doubt it. Iraq was close to getting them removed thanks to its influence with France, Germany and Russia, all of whom stood to gain valuable oil concessions if the sanctions ended. So, with 20/20 hindsight, I believe I can say that the war was unjustified and there could have been a peaceful solution to the WMD issue. Unfortunately the obstinacy of the American administration and that of the Ba'athist government made this impossible.

This brings me back to my initial justification for the war (that is clearly wrong given the current chaos on the ground) , which was that it made is possible to bring down the sanctions without giving in to Saddam Hussein. Clearly the sanctions, while successful at preventing the return of Iraq's WMD programs, were too harmful for Iraqi citizens. Furthermore, the war could be justified (somewhat) along the lines that Iraq was continually breaking the terms of the treaty they signed at the end of the first war. Lastly, the war allowed the removal of a nasty dictator (though arguably the present chaos is not an improvement). In my opinion, this was a good thing.

So, think what you may. I can admit I was wrong about WMD, but I still think the war didn't have a wholly bad outcome. There was justification on some level. In any case, it's all moot because whether it was justified or not is totally irrelevant to present circumstances.

R

So, will I make a decent manager some day?

Well, if my performance as president of the debating society is any example, the answer is maybe. In past, when no one was willing to help organise it, I did everything. As a result, not a lot got done because I was either too busy, insufficiently skilled or unmotivated. So, this semester is different. I've got a bunch of eager go-getters who volunteered to help. (Mwa ha ha, they know not to what they have committed themselves!) So, I've done an okay job of divesting myself of onerous responsibility by delegating certain tasks. I'm not sure just how clear it is to the executive members. I know if I were in their position, I would want it clearly spelled out what my responsibilities were. I have left the responsibilities deliberately vague in case I need to saddle some of them with extra work. Still, I must resist the urge to micromanage and hope that people know what to do.

So what am I doing? Well, I gave myself mainly the responsibility of liaising with group outside the debating society and the university. This is something I know I can do well. The responsibilities I least fancied in past were preparing advertisements and promoting the club at Clubs Days. (It's really bad if you're the only one organising your table.) I also didn't like being responsible for building a website (I can't do html, though I could probaly learn.) or having to go beg for funding from others like a pariah. So, I delegated all these tasks. I think on some level, I'm really concerned about looking like I'm doing a lot for the club and fulfilling my duties. Appearance counts more than substance. Fortunately, I can't make it appear like I'm being a good president without actually doing some work.

So, getting back to the main question... will I make a good manager? Well, I still lack some important qualities such as: time management skills, networking skills (though I do better if I have a pint in my hand) and sometimes initiave. I can be way too cautious. I guess experience has taught me that caution usually serves me better. Nevertheless, I miss far too many opportunities, and I guess I regret it. I still don't have good time management habits. I never write things down and go by my memory instead. As a result, certain small things invariably end up incomplete. I guess the aforementioned list suggests things I can work on. I haven't set out a strategy for doing these things though... and that reminds me that I would like to review my goals, something I keep putting off.

Cheers!
R

This Week's List of Things that Suck:

Online job applications
Writing memos in groups of 5+
People with no initiative
Girls who don't get back to you
Girls who are ambiguously not single
Paranoia over expanding waistlines
Bureaucracy
Student loans (or lack thereof)
Rising interest rates
Stress
People who are way too perky (as if they are on amphetimines)
Being too busy to buy groceries

Yeah, they're all pretty much self explanatory. I'm not going into the details, let me just say that I don't fancy getting hoodwinked into doing almost all the work in a group.

Okay, so here's what's up. I've given up for now on comments on politics. I never updated this blog all that often anyways. I'm not sure if this will become more of a live journal or just an archive of random thoughts. Time will tell.

So, what's new? Well, I'm back from the UK and about to dive head first into a new semester of uni. Recently, I've been thinking about changing my programme slightly. Given the amount of economics I've been doing lately, I thought it would make sense to change my business major into a joint major of business administration and economics. Apparently though I need to go back and take a 1st year chemistry, physics or biology class to qualify. Well, that's puts a damper on those plans for now. I can't fit some dumb 1st year science class into my schedule. Besides, that would mean I would have to take a Friday class, and I'm quite happy right now keeping Fridays nice and vacant.

Cheers!
R